An office conversation

So our controller walks into my office. “Hey, have you seen my stapler...uh, what are you doing?  Where are your pants?”

“Oh, see, I’m working out the pragmatics of this scene that has two guys, a chick and a double headed dildo.”

“Okay...”

“See, if the one guy is on his knees like so that means that the dildo has to be at this angle, right?”

“I...guess...”

“Which means the woman has to be in this position to take it up her, see?”

“Uh...”

“But the issue is that she has to hold the dildo like this and have her head turned like this in order to do the other guy with her mouth because he can’t be in front of her because the dildo and her fingers could potentially cause friction burn on his balls because he has to pretty much straddle the other guy which could also potentially cause cramping of his legs.  However, if he is standing beside the woman then the chick runs the risk of getting neck strain because of the degree of turn she has to have her mouth.”

“How does this apply to work?”

“It doesn’t.”

“Oh.”

“But now, if the one guy is on his back then the angle of the dildo has to be like this, see, and the woman would have to be like this...”

“You can keep the stapler, I’ll just order another one.”

“The issue with this position is what would work better, her legs on the inside of his or his legs on the inside of hers?  I’m thinking that either way, someone’s going to get a Charlie horse.”

“And you felt that this was more important than your inventory details?”

“Well, I have to figure it out somehow.”

“And this is the best way you could think of?  Isn’t there a better way?”

“What are you and the missus doing after work?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but I prefer it when you’re working on how to murder someone...”