Once upon a time in the land of moose and kayaks lived a nice young man. The young man would skip through the forest with all his animal songs; they would all chirp, tweet, growl and hum joyfully “Friggin’ in the Riggin’” whilst the sun shone brightly upon the forest floor. One day, as the young man was skipping merrily along, a big bad wolf popped out of the trees and said, “hey, boy!”
“Why, hello Mr. Wolf!” The young man beamed with a brilliantly white smile, “isn’t it a lovely day to be out traipsing about!”
“I could think of something better,” the wolf said with a bored expression, “it’s just too bad that my funds are just low at the moment, or I’d show you a great place.”
The young man’s eyes grew wide and he said, “Well, isn’t this a merry little coincidence! The muffin man just paid me for the stuffing the Mrs.’s muffin! I could surely come with you and you could show me this grand idea!”
The wolf thought for a moment, shrugged your shoulders and said, “well…ok, I just get you back…sometime.”
“That would be just nifty, Mr. Wolf! Let us go and partake in the adventure you are about to lead us upon!” The boy stated, hopping up and down, clapping his hands gleefully.
“Sounds good, follow me,” The wolf said, walking back into the bushes, “by the way, does your mama give you ‘special’ vitamins?” The wolf led the cheerful young man to a largest tree stump with a huge sign with an arrow pointing down to the ground saying “Jessica Rabbit’s Hole”. The wolf knocked twice on the stump and the ground opened up, and the wolf told the young man to go in. The young man and the wolf entered Jessica’s hole. The young man found himself in what looked like a very dark café with a huge stage in the center with a pole on it. “Well, my oh my!” The young man said chipperly, “This places looks wonderful! A little dark and the floor’s a little sticky but My!”
“Let’s get this party started,” The wolf growled and called to a tired looking skunk, “Hey, Flower! Get us a couple of ‘bama slammers!” The skunk brought the two new friends brought the order to the table. The young man, with a bright “Well, thank you!” paid for the order. He took a sip and went, “Wow! Kinda burns the throat, doesn’t it?” The wolf smiled and told the young man that it would be easier if he drank many many many more of them, then his throat wouldn’t hurt anymore. The young man wasn’t too sure of that methodology but was the trusting sort and thought it best to give his new friend’s advice a try as not have any hurt feelings….The next morning the young man woke up with a terrible headache. He wasn’t too sure what had happened; he remembered something about Mary and a sheep eating her garden, a snippet of Little Red riding something but the memories were rather hazy. The young man thought it best not to worry, after all, he new friend the wolf was with him and had obviously made sure he had gotten home safe and sound, after all! He walked out of the house and began to skip down the lane. None of his little animal friends came to join him and as he passed by three pigs, they puckered their lips, and then bent over, and wiggled at him. The young man thought this was odd and soon came upon the wolf with the Mad hatter and an odd little fellow named Jack. The young man politely introduced himself and Jack made a comment about how nice his candlestick was to him. The two excused themselves from the wolf and each licked their lower lips as they walked away The young man asked the wolf, “why are all those guys winking at me?”The wolf opened up his mouth, showing all his pearly whites and said, “why, everyone now knows your name now!” The young man was confused, “what’s that have to do with anything?” “You’re the little boy who blew!” The wolf replied.