I thought I better explain myself on this one; I strive for balance in my all aspects of my life. When someone is asked what is the most important thing in their life is, most will say “love”. Ask me and the answer is “to smile”. If you have something that makes you smile then it springboards into the idea that you can be capable of sharing it with someone else. When I write something like “I watched someone die today” I have to counter it with something totally inane and funny to me (usually to no one else, but that’s the bonus of being single – that isn’t much of a big deal). Last night this was my counter balance.
My philosophy is never to go to bed with a heavy thought – it distracts from the visions of unfettered joy in the night. Another truth about me is that I’m not much of a thinker – I have flashes of thoughts but I’m more of a Thinkin’-er – the kind of a guy that stands out in the rain, looks up and goes, “yep…I’m a thinkin’ it’s going to be a little damp tonight I reckon”. While I respect and admire people who can hold their deep thoughts at bay and have them separate from their dreams, I can’t. I need to divert myself in order to go to dreamland in the executive car rather than the cattle car other wise the ills of the world that I know to be (a thinkin’-er doesn’t think they know, they know because…well quite frankly we only have room for singular known factors otherwise we don’t have the room in our heads to dream about buxom naked woman that we’re saving in our Green Lantern outfits from the Lesbian Amazons with the foot long tongues). I’ve tried seeking help for this but around the middle of the session, each of my therapists have opened their windows and jumped.